hungryfictions:

don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!

When did Gwyneth Patrow get a Tumblr

ballsdotcom:

i need 2 know what everyones favorite fish is NOW

Kuhli loach aka derp snakes

Originally posted by enbygnome

Me to my friends: hey y'all, I’ve really upped my chef skills, I can make pan sauces, reductions, seared tuna, various seafoods in white wine sauce, pork tenderloin a jus, gorgonzola cream, roasted crimini, swordfish steak, tonkastu, what are y'all feeling?

My crew: we want queso

opisaterf:

something is seriously wrong w some ppl. two dudes out walking their dogs sicced them on someone’s cat that was just chilling in its front yard. the last update is that the cat is being worked on at the spca headquarters in Philly but I don’t know if it survived yet. like literally what levels of sickness and degeneracy does it take

Knew 1000% what kind of dogs they would be before I even looked.

The reply feature is for cowards! In my day, we reblogged our shit post additions like WOMEN.

opisaterf:

ow oh my god 😭😭😭😭 how do you even get anything in there

This is it. This is what made me finally stop scrolling and try to sleep. I’ll see you in hell. Thank you all and goodnight. 👍

notcisjustwoman:

Marxists, as per usual, proving they’ll simp for anyone as long as there’s an association with communism. It sure is lucky for them that the entire Ukrainian population is Nazis, otherwise we’d have to give a shit about bombing pregnant ladies!

Don’t worry, I’m allowed to say this because I “identify as” a marxist.

Marxists, as per usual, proving they’ll simp for anyone as long as there’s an association with communism. It sure is lucky for them that the entire Ukrainian population is Nazis, otherwise we’d have to give a shit about bombing pregnant ladies!

They/thems over the age of 30 have got to be missing the part of their brains capable of embarrassment.

queen-mayhem:

Ladies, 911. Emergency situation. I need help and advice and I need it fast.

I have a friend who came out as a lesbian a few years ago. I was one of the first people she came out to. She’s butch, and from a deeply religious background. She’s not out to her family (though they kinda know/suspect) and lives at home. She’s also a survivor of conversion therapy. She voluntarily went for some when she first started realizing she was gay in her late teens/early 20s. She doesn’t have a circle of gay friends, she knows very few other lesbians, and she’s extremely isolated in a homophobic southern small town.

So, as you might imagine, she has a lot of complicated, messy feelings about herself, her sexual orientation, her gender presentation, etc.

And now she’s talking about transition.

Here’s the catch. This is friend is not very online. Her internet use begins at Facebook and ends at Tinder. She doesn’t know anything about the trans wars and I’ve never talked about it with her. And I do not know how to provide support to her and talk her out of transition without either baptizing her into the Discourse, or coming off like someone who is suddenly weirdly judgmental and anti-trans.

I want to grab her by the shoulders and be like “FRIEND. YOU JUST WANT TO BE A BUTCH LESBIAN. THAT IS OKAY. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE A BUTCH LESBIAN. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET A MASTECTOMY TO WEAR CARGO SHORTS AND EAT PUSSY.”

But I also don’t want to invalidate her feelings because this is all so sensitive for her. How do I help her?

I think it may be somewhat dependent on where she’s getting the idea. You say she’s not very online which makes me wonder if someone in her life is putting the idea in her head.